Detached..

Everyone of us have our emotional baggage that we carry with us.. 

I know I'm detached from almost everyone else, my beloved friends, family and loves..

I could barely spend efforts into reading messages, i could barely spend energy browsing through social media, I could barely drag myself out to meet up with you guys.. I do not bother what's happening anymore..

I still love you guys a lot.. believe me, I really wished I'm there spending time with you guys but I couldnt.. (except if you're asking me out for physical activities..)

Perhaps this is just one of the moments in life when I felt really overwhelmed.. 

Coz there are just days or weeks or months when I really needed time for myself to figure out things in my own pace and space..

Dont ask me whats happening but just gimme the time and space which I needed badly..

Chapter Thirty...

it's been years since the last time i blogged..

reading back some of the posts..

it makes me realized how much i have not changed!

i'm still the same same person..

i guess we dont change..

or was it just..me being stagnant?

i still felt lost in chapter thirty..

as we aged, we feel more and more tension forcing us to settle down in life..

coz we have aged..

but i still do not know where am i supposed to go next..

to stay or to leave..

can i stay and chase after my dreams?

would i feel happier if i leave?

i wanted to stay.. but...

and there's always but...

sometimes i wished im far far far away..

perhaps i would hesitate less..

chapter thirty..

please make it a meaningful ones..

always choose what makes you feel alive!

Effects..

Make the world a better place!
I tell myself..

As much as I wish I could contribute to the society,
as much as I wish to be able to carry out task effectively,

Today I came to understand and almost see the effects of things that I'm doing..

Being an idealist, a perfectionist..
I wished the world is only happiness without suffering..

Yet..
I've to accept the truth that there's always pros and cons in everything..
I've to accept the truth that I'm living in an imperfectly perfect world..

It's okay.. it's okay!
Come what may,
We'd be alright eventually..
Coz this is life..

The little things..

I'm lucky to be involved in the little part of life of all ages..

I could see the happy and relieved faces of parents when their newborn passed the hearing re-screening..

I could see the determination and positivity of parents who give the best that they can for their child despite of the time spent, energy, financial status, and even their career..

I could see the parents who slowly let go of their child for them to grow and learn and face the task by letting their child know that they would be giving unconditional support anytime just when the child needs it..

I could see the adolescents who still bring their parents with them while coming for assessment, not because they are independent or unable to be independent but they just wanna the accompaniment of their parents..

I could see the partners who accompanied each other for health screening and both would be blaming and denying of their respective bad habits and advising each other to change habits just to make sure both of them are healthy..

I could see children who accompanied their slowly aging parents even when they are angry with their stubborn parents for being stubborn.. And seeing them exchanging their roles and responsibilities as the parents are no longer acting like the parents of their children but behaving like children instead and vice versa..

And I saw a pair of 80plus couple coming in for hearing assessment. The husband doze off while waiting for the wife to do hearing assessment and awakes just to make sure the wife is doing the task.. No exaggerating action and this is just a super ordinary scene yet I could feel their sweet love at the age of 80y.o.. 

The scenes of "UP" do exist..

Life.. Is not about the big things or the outcomes.. 

Life.. Is about the little things and the journey that we choose..

25 years old

25 years old..

Having a loving family..

Having a bunch of jimuis who accepts just the way you are..

Found a love that you would want to live the rest of your life with him..

Worked for almost a year and trying hard to build my career despite feeling plateauing..

25years old..

The age where you start to realise the growing white hair of your mummy..

The age where you became the aunt of your siblings sons and daughters..

The age where you talked with your jimuis what you wanted to do in life yet no conclusion but keep being lost in the end..

The age of wanting to settle down with your loved ones yet you start feeling afraid of settling down.. Afraid of being like any other people to settle down, get married and have children and focusing everything to the children and that's the end of life..

The age of wanting to build your career yet you don't spend time and energy and brain cells with the excuse of no money to build knowledge in career.. 

The age of spending time and energy and money into shopping, coffee, food, singing k, sleeping and some sport activities that you claimed to relax yourself from the busy lifestyle..

The age of you just wish you can travel everywhere, experience life in other countries, get your master and PhD done..

So much dreams that you wanna chase after yet you don't know where and how and when to begin it..

To the 25 years old me..

Please treat and love yourself better..

Time to move on from being lost..

Time to find yourself..

Time to think and move forward to your dreams..

You only live once..

Appreciate communicating with your loved ones

It's always super duper heartwarming seeing parents bring their child or children bringing their parents for hearing assessment, (re)habilitation, giving them the best technology that they could, emotional support, quality time and energy just to make sure their loved ones able to communicate with them.. #appreciate #communication #love 

Working life 😊

Among the happiest moments of working life:

Definitely earning money and being able to pay your clothes and shoes and favourite food is the most enjoyful moment, ie finally I can be financially independent and able to support myself and giving mum monthly expenses!!

But, the best motivation and reward is getting to hear from your patient:

Can I follow up with you for etc etc?!

Can I let my child follow up with you for etc etc?!

These words meant so much to me!!

Thank you my dearest patients. Will work hard to improve your life quality!! 😁

Happy 23rd birthday teexin!!

Apologize for the late post..

Hehe, coz last night when we celebrated on your behalf it was quite late d!!

Anyway, hope you enjoy yourself with others in hometown!! =D

Haha, don't know what else to say to you, so old friends until I believe when I look at you, tap tap your shoulder and you know I know and that's how we can communicate!!!

Hehe, btw, stay hiao and don't become semakin MAN ahh!! Your hair seems semakin short ahh don't know why...*noeyessee*

Ps: photos stolen from FB!!! =D

The birthday gal!! Got shocked seeing this photo, after a few month your hair got shorter! Gosh, wanna become Miley Cyrus?! Hiaopo, stay HIAO please!

Our celebration for you!! =D very local I know!! =D

Revision class

Just in a blink, 5days 4nights ended d..

Revision classes were great,though having so many assignments,though having sudden case presentation,though we had to answer so many questions,and though our so called hands on is to handle real patient..but we did learnt a lot =D

Enjoyed myself with my beloved coursemates (esp bada,alia,dhiyah,and not to forget the little baby =D,and of course so many of you, ama,elli,rozi,ika,diana,izni,wani,shai,sookkim,lina,bell,and the only two gentleman,chaofarn and hafiz))

What could be luckier than having friends who can lend you a helping hand basically in everything..

They always try to help me in every ways that they can..
they are willing to accept me staying with them in the house,though I might be inconvenient for them?!
accepting me to stay in the same room =D (if not then I'll be sleeping alone)
lending me everything I needed (like blanket,pails,toilet slippers,washing detergent)
Providing me transport whenever I need to go anywhere even at their buka puasa hours.. I'm really sorry for needing transport at buka puasa hours..
Sharing food and drinks with me,even taught me to do 'biscuit batik' hahaha.. and if I stayed longer,I believe they'd cook ayam rendang for me!!! =D anyhow,most touchingly,they even buy me dinner at buka puasa hours but not for themselves when they are the one fasting.. =')
And last but not least,for tolerating the choosy me,...

I enjoyed so much with you gals!!! =D

But the only regret thing is I didn't manage to sahur with you all,haha,I sincerely have the thought of sahur with you gals,but I keep postponing it tomorrow and tomorrow coz the revision class is unexpectedly busy and packed and tiring but now I'm leaving d.. sighed..

Terima kasih is all I can say..

I truly treasure you all..
Feeling lucky to have friends like you all!!! ='D

Ok ok..trying not to be emotional..haha..we still have another year in uni..a mixed feelings of both happy and sad,happy coz still studying,sad also coz still studying..hahaha..
Just wanna jot down my current feelings.. =D

Let's enjoy ourselves in our coming internship!! =D

Hatiku Menangis untuk Tanah Airku....

05052013
the 13th General Election in Malaysia..

my first vote!!

im not the supporter of any party actually..

at first, i dont even have the thought of going home to vote..

i even tell myself i wanna be neutral..

but as the election is getting near,

we heard and we saw lotsa things happening..

i was shocked..

shocked to know the DIRTY tactics (with evidence)..

that's how im determined to vote!!

coz each and every vote is important for a CLEAN gov..

i dont understand why people could just follow whatever that is ordered without using their brain..

because of money? power? or are you under threat??

or perhaps your brain is not functioning i guess..

it's heart broken to know so many are supporting them for this dirty elections..

why would the airlines agreed to send the foreigners over to vote and let them determine our future??

why would the foreigners agree to come over to vote when they're not even a permanent resident??

why would the media keep being BIAS and not telling the truth?? 

(dear media, you LOSE our TRUST as well!!)

those people who followed the orders and instructions are MALAYSIAN too..

ESPECIALLY the SPR..and police!!

YOU know what's happening better than any of us..

how could you do this to your country??

how could you do this without feeling guilty??

how could you dont feel ashamed of yourself??

how could you dont even know how to play your role as SPR??

how could you dont even dare to stand up and fight back to stay TRUE??

how would you explain to your next generations??

do you think they'd be proud of you??

or perhaps you wished they could follow your steps??

okay..perhaps YOU dont have a choice??..
ALL of US are the VICTIMS of money and power..

including the foreigners..

we can only blame the reality that MONEY and POWER is no more a desire but a NEED in order to survive??!!

we just want a CLEAN election..

if and only if this is a CLEAN election,

WE might vote you too..

but you're really too DIRTY..

it's really broken hearted to see how you perform BLACKOUT magicS in front of everyone..

it's really broken hearted to see how you LIED to US again and again..

thanks to you,

we open our EYES, EARS, MIND and HEART now..

thanks to you,

we realise how much we LOVE OUR COUNTRY!!

thanks to you,

MALAYSIAN will never TRUST you anymore!!

05052013,

A day to remember..

coz..

WE came to learn about our ROLES and RESPONSIBILITY of being a MALAYSIAN!!